Bajans Love a Good Funeral

Bajans love to gather to talk, laugh, debate, pray and to lime!

I read that even during tropical storm Matthew some of the bars and rum shops stayed open even though there was a national shutdown so Bajans could get together to watch the storm come through.

Every day, people all across the Island gather to play dominoes. You see them everywhere! Here in Oistins, I’ve seen as many as 12 tables going at the same time underneath the shade of giant dog dumplin and sea grape trees. You can hear them a half a block away scrambling and slamming cards (dominoes) as the players and onlookers laugh and talk trash!

I’ve seen crowds gather around traffic accidents because in Barbados you CANNOT move the vehicles or  anything else until the police and insurance companies have come to make their report. That could take a while! Remember we are on island time! The onlookers often debate about who is at fault and what should have happened as the traffic backs up.

Funerals are another place where people gather. Sandra is going to her 3rd funeral in four weeks tomorrow. When someone dies from your district you either know them or their family. I’ve only gone to one funeral but while I was there I made observations.

Before I start, I do not mean any disrespect to the deceased or her family. In fact, from what I heard she was a beautiful woman inside and out! Bajan funerals are very different from the ones I attended in the states.

Bajans who are late for most things show up on time for  funerals. The body is usually at the entrance of the church where the programs are passed out.

Inside there were some women sobbing unashamedly and inconsolable. There were stone faced men trying to comfort them to no avail! Yet, there were smiles and laughter for some as people greeted friends they haven’t seen since last funeral saying “Wait, you still living!” Somehow, it all blends in together making it both a sad and happy occasion.

The service itself was similar to funerals I have attended in the past with beautiful singing, a nice eulogy celebrating life and a good salvation message!

At the graveyard we were met with vendors already set up! There was a man selling sno-cones, a woman selling snacks, water and sodas and a van at a respectful distance selling ice cold banks beer or any kind of drink you wanted hard or soft.

As the family and friends sang hymns the casket was lowered in to the grave. In the US this would have ended the ceremony but in Barbados, it’s just the beginning!

The grave diggers started covering the casket with the mounds of dirt at the grave site. Next, family members and close friends joined in taking the shovels and assisted with burying the casket. I even saw one woman dressed in white with high heels helping. This continued until the casket and grave was completely covered. It is not until donated flowers adorn the grave that people started to leave and to make use of the vendors wares.

Some men had to assist a woman overcome with grief and helped her to a chair. Simultaneously, I saw at least 3 women reach in their purse for smelling salts. I wouldn’t be surprised if all or most of them along with their handkerchief had the salts.

At the repast some of the women started passing around plates of fishcakes, sandwiches and fried fish to the previously stoned faced men and older women. The men started talking softly but soon became louder debating issues of the day while the women reflected on the dearly departed.

The loudest part of the men’s conversation was about football (soccer) as they debated the best players and teams of the world! The younger guys used their mobile devices to prove their point with videos!

Overall I think I understand why funerals are well attended.  First of all Bajans love to talk! In fact, they talk to strangers like we talk to friends in the states. Second, Bajans love to gather together and finally Bajans are loving kind people that laugh when you laugh, cry when you cry and hurt when you hurt!