Last week we did not make it to church. Our congregation was to have a fellowship service with another Church of Christ located in Grazettes St. Michaels. Our directions were simple. “Ya know which part de Psychiatric Horsepital is? It’s down one de gaps near dere, you shoud see de signs.” With a map in hand we tried to find the Psychiatric Hospital and got hopelessly lost. Not really lost, but we couldn’t find the church so we eventually gave up and drove back home!
Sandra’s friend Claudette told us “You should have taken the Stadium Road to the stop lights, made a left turn onto Codrington road and Grazettes Road would have been on the right. From there you need to know where you are going because the area is really big!”
As I mentioned in my post from last week Bajan Drivers, Bajans are always willing to help with directions but the question is ‘will you understand them?’ I’ll admit, it’s difficult to give directions when many of the houses have no address numbers (ours included) and a lot of the gaps or roads are nameless although they may contain multiple homes. Whenever we have a delivery or a service call, they always say, “We’ll call when we get to Oistins for directions to your house.” We usually end up telling them, “From Oistins bear left at the police station towards Thornbury Hill then start counting houses and once you pass the Scarborourgh gap you’re close, you can’t miss it!”
Recently, we got directions to visit a friend from one of Sandra’s relatives who knew where the person lived. “You turn in the gap after Squires Shop on the coast road. You get to a junction and go right, then you go down the road. Remember Tarbruce, he’s our relative and he just move down there, but that aint where you want to go. You want the above side, so at the junction turn left. You go over the hill and should see the big house, I think it is white.” Although the directions were a bit confusing, we did eventually find the house.
I read a comical exchange for directions in a book called *Absolutely Barbados by Julian Armfield which is one of Sandra’s favorite books about Barbados. The account captures the essence of getting directions from a Bajan. Mr Armfield was lost driving looking for a restaurant and noticed some men playing dominoes, the following conversation ensued.
First Man: “Yuh havin trouble Chief?”
Me: “Good morning, I’m just a bit lost. Could you direct me to Lemon Arbor?”
First Man: “I’ll try but if I was looking for Lemon Arbor, I wouldn’t start from here.”
Second Man: “Well he’s starting from here now de best gap to take is de one opposite. When you reach the next crossroad, you’ll see a man standing dere selling peanuts his name is Orville.”
First man: “No, he won’t see he. Orville only dere pon the evenings. In any case Orville on holiday in St. Vincent. He staying wit he sister.”
Second Man: “At the crossroad turn left where Orville would be if it was evening and he wasn’t on holiday. Then bear right. Don’t turn right though cuz if yuh do yuh’ll find yourself in Sweet Bottom and be lost fuh real.”
First Man: “Then look for a house which belongs to my aunt although she is not home cuz she lives in Toronto now.”
Me: “What color is the house?”
First man: “It used to be cream before she painted it last week.”
Me: “What color is it now?”
First Man: “I don’t no I ain see it since she paint it. She wuz talking about painting it orange before she met the man from Toronto….”
I think you know what I mean. Since my last post I have been told that some GPS’s and the WAZE app do work in Barbados however, I haven’t used either as yet. When traveling about the island we’re usually armed with a map and verbal directions from someone. Sandra knows the island pretty well and 9 times out of 10 we find what we are looking for. I guess last Sunday was that 10th time!
*Absolutely Barbados, Julian Armfield, Miller Publishing